Puckett's Grocery Lunch

Waitress: Are you ready to order?
Me: can you give me a minute?
Waitress: sure I’ll be back in a sec
(waitress leaves for 5 minutes)

Waitress: are you ready?
Me: sure, I’ll take the fried catfish sandwich with lettuce, tomato, mayo….
Waitress: so you want everything but onions?
Me: Yes, I mean no…..I mean, yes I want onions and yes I’ll take everything thanks.
Waitress: great, can I have your menu?
(waitress leaves table for 5 minutes)

Waitress: sir, (taps me on the shoulder)
Me: yes?
Waitress: sorry, we are out of the catfish today
Me: oh, ok, that’s fine
Waitress: (pen and paper ready) so….what would you like?
Me: well, can I see a menu?
Waitress: sure, here you go. Do you need a minute?
Me: yes, please
Waitress: ok, I’ll just wait
Me: Ok, I’ll just have the BLT w/ fries
Waitress: ok, will do
(waitress leaves for 5 minutes)

Waitress: Sir, I’ve spoken to the chef and he would like to make you the Club sandwich.
Me: um, ok, can I see the menu
Waitress: oh, its not on the menu, it’s a specialty item he has offered to make for you. Its $8.99
Me: well, the BLT was $4.50, I don’t know that I want the….
Waitress: well he has offered to make it for you
Me: Um, ok I guess

(5 minutes pass – Chef walks by)

Chef: (awkward nod, smile & wave in passing) hello (basically communicating “you are welcome”)

Me: (silence – attempted awkward nod – thinking “nice chef pants”)

-I pay $8.99 for a sandwich I didn’t want